Last week I went to a seminar about creating a Bucket List – you know, the things you want to do before you die. Is it sad that the only things I could think of were “Watch my kids grow up” and “Meet my grandchildren”. I mean, is that what my life has become – living for my kids and not for myself. What about any hopes, dreams, aspirations I have/had outside of being a Mom. Traveling the world?…Heck, CONQUERING the world. No, forget it, I’m too tired. ; ) But I really had to think about and push my mind outside of the obvious comfort zone of just relying on my children for my fulfillment in life. What more do I want? Then I went and saw the movie Love Happens. In the movie a man loses his wife and loses his life. Meaning, he lost his purpose for life after his wife died. I cried and cried because part of me feels like I will lose my purpose for life if a child of mine dies. Should I be putting so much of my livelihood on my children and is it even possible not to? How can we, as Moms/parents, create a safety net so that our children are not our only sense of fulfillment? Ok, I sound pathetic here. I do have other interests – Yes! But you Moms know what I’m talking about.
I think Motherhood is a process where you do lose yourself for a certain period of time. Either you are pregnant, breast feeding, sleep deprived, chasing a Toddler, getting your kids to school – it is so kid-centric for a period of time that your “other identity” – your self other than being a Mom – does take a hit. But sooner or later you resurface and so do things about yourself you maybe forgot about – like working out, reading, traveling, etc.
We Moms just have to remember it’s a process, and yes, Motherhood is the most selfless act of all…but we also have to honor ourselves as a person that also has needs, interests, dreams and desires and it’s up to us not to forget those.
So, go make your bucket list and put a few things on there that have nothing to do with your kids. I dare you!!!