I am starting a new blog called “Am I Bad Mom?” (amiabadmom.com). The reason I’m starting this is because every day, at least once a day, I ask myself that question. Am I bad Mom because….. Because I don’t want to be a Mom today. Because I don’t want to be a Mom right now. Because I don’t want to go to the park today. Because I don’t want to play trains right now. Because I don’t want to read right now. Because I’m tired and impatient and want to crawl in bed. The list goes on.
I read an article in a magazine that talked about the idea of being a “good enough Mom” and how we drive ourselves crazy with this idea of perfection – being the perfect Mom. Perfectly patient. Perfectly loving. Perfectly tolerant. Perfectly PRESENT. The article pointed out that being a “good enough Mom”, which was defined as being at your best just 30% of time, was good enough. Really????? Whew!!!!! I can shoot for 30%. It made me realize that part of my discontent with being a full time Mom is the feeling that I have to be perfect 100% of the time. I just don’t think that’s possible for me and I guess that’s ok.
I am person too. It’s ok that I don’t find playing trains, playing at the park, reading books and collecting rocks all that fulfilling 100% of the time. I love my son, but I have other interests and aspirations, or maybe I just want to do nothing and zone out. Why am I always judging myself?