By October 12, 2009 Blog No Comments

I went to the Mall today, something I try to avoid doing as a full time Mom, just because I find it kind of depressing. Anything that seems cliche to do as a full time Mom I sort of avoid (because I’m always in denial that I have nothing better to do). But today seemed like a good day. It was overcast and “wintery” out and it seemed fun to peruse the stores in search of something new to pep up the house or something we had to have for the holidays. It’s also a great little mall for Hudson to run around. After an hour of puttering around, the trip didn’t prove to be all that inspiring. Maybe because I’m pregnant and didn’t want to buy anything for my overgrowing self. Which brings me to the real topic of today’s blog. Right now I don’t want to be pregnant. I mean, I do. I want to have another child. I want to expand our family. I want to give Hudson a sibling. All that is good. I just don’t want to be pregnant. And the funny thing is, before I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait to be pregnant again. The grass is always greener. But seriously, the first trimester really sucks. I am sick, tired, moody and just overall have a sense of feeling “down”. It’s like there’s this malaise over everything that just makes me feel mildly discontent about everything. And I can’t bother buying something cute to make me feel sexy and whole, because I’m only going to get bigger. So here I am, roaming the mall in some faded, stretched out sweat pants, a white tank top and my Uggs boots – feeling like crap, looking like crap, but not feeling inspired to do anything about it. Who said Pregancy is sexy anyway?

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