I realize what I am about to write is going to PISS OFF just about every man/husband/father reading this…and actually make most of you women/wives/mothers absolutely GLOAT….but that is not…
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I realize what I am about to write is going to PISS OFF just about every man/husband/father reading this…and actually make most of you women/wives/mothers absolutely GLOAT….but that is not…
If you ever argue with your spouse @ child-rearing or discipline, check out these tips:
Present a united front to your child. Avoid criticizing your partner if he's in the middle of responding to a situation. Plan ahead to avoid future clashes by talking through key issues when you're both relaxed.
Agree to disagree. You'll be able to compromise on many issues but not all. In those cases, the one who's with the child the most should hold more sway.
Stick to specifics. Limit your discussion to a narrow issue (how much TV to permit) rather than wading off into generalities ("You always undermine what I say").
ln all the time I've been blogging, this will be one of my very favorite posts. Now if I could just find a way to get this out to all the dads/husbands out there! Any ideas?
I was recently talking to a friend of mine about how my husband is under a lot of stress at work lately and how sometimes as a stay-home-mom (translation: a Mom who does a whole hell of a lot but doesn't make any money for it), I feel like the only way I can help out is by not spending any money. I went on to say that there are many things I do on a daily basis to make a contribution to our lives, but that sometimes the role of a full-time mom and homemaker is that of an unsung hero. There is no boss or co-worker to give us atta-boys, raises or promotions, nor is there the satisfaction of closing a deal, winning a client, completing or giving a presentation. The hours spent cleaning, cooking, changing diapers or dirty clothes, go largely unnoticed. It's easy to minimize these tasks to the mundane--and therefore to feel as though they are not a contribution. Whereas, contributing financially is a far more tangible thing.
Now, I know I could stop here and launch a major debate about how big of a contribution staying home with your kids is, etc. but that's not where I'm going with this so bear with me....
So I was talking to my friend about this--the role of the unsung hero--and she told me the story about a friend of hers who was the bread-winner in her family. A top executive at Kinko's who decided to quit her job/career and stay home and raise her kids--realizing this time with them is finite. She made a choice to put herself in a role where she was giving up not only money but all the accolades that came along with a big career. On her next wedding anniversary, her husband gave her a card. Inside the card was the 10 page document that used to be used by her company to give her her annual review. Her husband had crossed out the corporate information and filled in all the blanks--on all 10 pages--with information pertinent to her new role as a full-time Mom and homemaker, showing his wife that not only did he appreciate, acknowledge and notice all that she was doing, but that there was a VALUE to it. I heard this story and just went WOW. Not, wow, what an amazing husband, but WOW, what an amazing idea for to show someone how much you appreciate what they are doing--particularly in a role for which there is little day to day acknowledgement.
To show support for all the Moms out there, "Like" this post!
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